Added: Einar Human - Date: 18.09.2021 19:20 - Views: 35658 - Clicks: 3595
In an increasingly connected, noisy world where infinite possibilities for how we could spend our time loom over us, flakiness abounds. My theory is that flakiness is rooted in dishonesty with ourselves and others about what matters to us. But inevitably, we make choices, and slowly over time, the choices we have madenot the choices that we could make, are what, in the aggregate, decide who we are. What defines a friendship? Can it be quantified? At some point, somewhere, a switch flips.
So then I have to think, what flips that switch in the other direction? How many big life events do we miss before we start saying we used to be friends? Probably fewer than we think. With that in mind, now I have a few proposals for you, a person who seeks to build and sustain meaningful friendships:.
Talk about your real problems, and ask people about theirs. Invite someone into your home instead of going to a bar or coffee shop. Give thoughtful gifts. That sounds harsh, but in the end, it will save your time and effort and theirs. If your friend is always the initiator, invite them to do something with you. If you do have to cancel on someone — sometimes circumstances happen — you should be the one to make a plan for the future. And then make sure that it happens. Sometimes that means your physical presence; sometimes that just means your emotional support.
They require work from both people. None of my closest friendships were forged solely because we had so much in common or it was convenient. It was because we prioritized each other. It was in that vein that I developed a close-knit group of friends. When I met them, two of them had just ended long-term, serious relationships. A few of us were deeply conflicted about our jobs and our lives and whether our work would ever be fulfilling.
And that was everything — knowing we all had that support and knowing we had people who depended on us for that support. We built them. Because, for better or worse, it will. She studied philosophy at Columbia University. You can find her on Twitter jackiehluo. Do you have a story to share?
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What If We’re Not Just Friends?